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sheer_nothing
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Name: Emily
Country: United States
State: Mississippi
Metro: Jackson
Birthday: 9/11/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Surprises, thinking, Zebras and flamingos, traveling, starbucks, Jesus, shamrocks, sunsets, traveling, hugs, ice cold water, laughing til you cry, writing, intense conversations, Wesley College, Christians (who don't just say they are, but who experience the cross daily), time with any of my loves, burmuda shorts, escargot and portabella mushrooms, espresso beans, music, the feel of a cold room when you come in from the summer outside, clean rooms, studying people, learning, picking people's brains...
Expertise: Analysis
Occupation: Student, Barista, Geek.
Industry: Art, Theology
Message: message meEmail: email me
Yahoo:  thatgreenflamingo@yahoo.com
Member Since:
8/27/2004
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| I cleaned my car today. It was bad.
I realized then that I hadn't cleaned it on the outside since I got it [July].
The more I cleaned it, the more little nicks and kinks and dents I found in it. I was surprised because I didn't think I would be finding so many of them, but the more I found, the harder I cleaned. I mean, it's my car!
***
Yesterday, I had an interesting conversation with a friend about church.
A lot of "nasty" was brought up. Bad things in a church no one wants to talk about.
Things people don't want to watch or look at. Little nicks and kinks and dents.
The more we see these dents, the more we get disappointed, and the more we realize a church is not like a car.
We can always go to a different church. Getting a new car is different, unless you are well off enough to get a new one anytime you want.
We don't want to belong to things because we might find dents.
We want to always have a way out just in case we find in ourselves that we can't handle it.
We don't want to commit because we might see something better or more appealing than what we have.
* There will always be something more appealing out there at one point and in some way or another. A.L.W.A.Y.S. We can depend on that.
* There will always be something about commitment that will end up showing us who we really are.
I found things out through that conversation with that friend, church services, fellowship with people of that church, and cleaning my car.
* I am committed to the body of Christ regardless of the building we meet in, regardless of the problems we have that don't even come to the surface, and regardless of our inability to find solutions in ourselves.
* I find that commitment to a church reflects our understanding and acting out of God's commitment to His bride. "I will never leave you, nor forsake you."
* I am finding out that even though I see these problems, sometimes before others, and am often the first one saying something about fixing them, when someone else says anything remotely negative about my church or about it's problems, I will all of a sudden become a 10 foot mama bear in defense and will very calmly and gently suggest you step OFF before I mama bear slap you. In Jesus' name. :)
[I would think this is the way a husband should feel about his wife, which is about the way I think God intends it. This makes me believe we need to watch what we say about the church - "the bride of Christ."]
"As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." - James 2:26
"I have faith God wants to use our church and give people His love." - Faith.
Stay, and be used and give people His love. Wait on Him to bring this to fruition. - Deed.
"I have faith God will work out these problems and put the right people in His administration." - Faith
Stay, help the church find solutions, and even if people don't listen, pray and be available. - Deed.
***
I don't know where you are in your life.
I don't know what dents you've found or how unhappy you are in your situation.
Stay. Stick it out.
Be there. Act out the definition of commitment.
Pray.
Love with the love found in the cross.
Words, noise, or whatever.
My manager told me my posts were inspiring.
That's great, but I'm looking for more than inspiration.
If all this post is to you is words, then it did nothing.
I hope you look at yourself and find where you place commitment, or IF you place commitment.
And if not, then why.
Peace out.
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| From tonight.
A lot of talk and a lot of thought.
I liked it.
The way I write this blog is going to be exactly how my brain is working tonight, so bear with the instability and scattery-ness of it.
(=) After 5 years of being a Christian, I finally have a firm definition and connection of "Dogma".
(=) Teaching is completely full of life altering responsibility. I now understand what James means by "not all of you should become teachers". No. Joke.
(=) I am happy with where I am. Right here. Right now.
I am remembering a lot of things and conversations I've had with people.
I've told people a lot of things and I am not necessarily opposed to the things I've said.
(Pondering) - Your relationship with God is not just your relationship with God and that it affects me because who you are affects who you are in my life, since you're in my life. This puts my view of my prayer time and discipline not just about me. It's about the church. The church is dependent on my walk with God AND my growth as a Christian.
(Pondering and settled) - Boundaries need to be made. You don't just wind up in bed with someone out of no where. There was a starting point. That starting point was that you saw eachother naked or something equal to that. How did that happen? Was there not a boundary preventing that? I think we need to know our boundaries and set them accordingly in order to prevent situations we won't know how we got into. You don't start out with Heroine. It starts with something a little smaller first. Let's name our boundaries and not be ashamed of them. God is leading us to a holy life, and because He is who He is, I want nothing less than His life for me. Apparently, that includes boundaries.
(Unsettled and sad) - "The harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few." I believe this is missional with all of my heart, but let's see this from within the body of Christ. There is a huge harvest when looking at the church. Who is discipling them? Who is growing these Christians to be there to disciple others? How are we being spent? And what are we spending on?
I was reading 2 Chronicles 24:15-22 for my devotion and I realized how wrong my dogma of "hero" has shaped how I see heroic acts. From Barbie to Batman, we see heroes as people who save lives and do good and still have time to look good and have fun. I realized that my idea of hero has changed.
Zechariah is a hero of mine. He obeyed. And there was no happy ending.
Zechariah died. He was stoned to death. And it probably hurt.
But, in that story that was recorded for me (and you) to read, God is revealing who He is. [He wants us to know Him.]
(*) Even though divine anger can fall on a people because they worship idols and not God, He will send people to them to bring them back to Him.
(*) People are stubborn and will not listen.
(*) The Spirit of God can come upon someone to deliver a message.
(*) Just because people do not listen does not mean you who delivered the message did anything wrong.
(*) People will get mad.
Zechariah opened his mouth. Delivered the message. People got mad. Zechariah died.
It's to these people we are sent to - neighborhood or far abroad.
One more thought -
Ministry/missions/outreach --- all of that is simply an expression of God's love in you. Therefore, the lack of it in your life only shows the lack of God's love in your heart, whether it is due to your inability to allow it to be there, or just being stagnant, or the inability to know how to inhale and exhale.
That is all.
Goodnight.
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| I don't see the sun through the clouds.
I can't see beyond the rain.
I don't see the roofs or the train stations.
I can't see the one way plane ticket.
I can't see a wedding ring.
I can't see a groom, or feel the room in my heart for a love that big.
I don't see the progress of my dreams coming true while following you.
I can't see the hundreds of hearts that will be strangely warmed by your truth through my lips, or see the faces that belong to them.
I don't feel tomorrow being brighter than today.
I don't feel the way my spirituality is portrayed.
I can't see the faces that will support me, or know that faith I can have in so many.
I can't wrap my brain around that big of a number, or watch the possibility drain from their faces as I answer them: "how much do you need?"
I can't know how to walk when my feet won't move, or understand the words I must say when an answer is due.
But I can know you.
You.
- who causes the sun to bleed the color it says to goodnight to -
- who conducts the hurricane that breaks me open like a symphony -
- who twists the forests and tells the stars to shine -
You.
You stretch this heart to com-bust with commitment.
You move this heart to unfamiliar areas of trust
You catch this quickly falling and crashing belief system in my brain.
You.
You are with me.
I can know you.
And that is enough.
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| Dear Pet Peeves,
I'm sure there is a reason you are in my life.
I'm sure you're here so that I don't take "the good things in life" for granted, or to just to remind me that no rainbow comes without a rain cloud...
blah blah blah.
Truth is, you're getting in my way a little.
You're exemplifying the areas in my life that I am most irritable.
You're bringing out things in me that I really don't want others to know about.
I'm making efforts to make the word of God living through my life.
So, can you please.. stop existing?
Thank you,
Emily.
P.S. If you are going through a drive thru, please get off your phone.
It's such an insult to choose to be in someone's life, as momentarily as it may be, and not interact.
At all.
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| "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love." - John 15:9
If I were to get another tattoo, it would be this: "Remain in my love". I don't know where I'd put it, though.
In my devotion time, I think I repeated that over and over and over again.
It's amazing how things we don't expect to slow down on, we do.
We don't have to remain in his love. That's a complete choice.
I think a lot of the times, we focus more on "God's will" than we do our own choice.
When we do something and it comes out not the way we planned, all of a sudden, it just worked out the way God wanted it to.
iiiiiiiii dunno about that.
What about what we chose to do while we thought we were remaining in His love?
Another thing (or... question) I have is interesting to me:
"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you". The love Jesus showed us was a reflection of what the Father has done for Him.
What did Jesus do? - He died for us.
Have we ever thought about the extreme kind of love the Father has shown to Jesus when Jesus dies for us?
We think about the love Jesus has for us, but how often do our thoughts turn to that being the same love the father has shown Jesus?
I dont think we'll ever understand how the Father has shown that, but that's okay.
It's just amazing to think about it.
- Just thinking...
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